I didn’t post last week because my mind started heading in a negative direction and I had to focus all my energy on turning it around. Spoiler alert: I won! I applied God’s Word to my thoughts and I was able to let go of the lies and move back into a place of health and peace. Praise Jesus!
Here’s what happened… My right leg had been aching for days and it started bringing my mood down. By that Friday, I was irritated by everything and Saturday started off with anger and frustration at the world around me. I finally saw the symptoms for what they were – agitated depression – and I realized that they were not going to go away unless I did something to get rid of them.
First, I had to examine what was going on in my mind so I knew what I was fighting. I was mad at everyone else for doing things wrong. But the longer I stared at the anger, I realized that underneath it, I wanted to cry. It’s not fair! I’m expected to do all this stuff and I can’t, and everyone else is making things worse and I can’t stop them!
I was feeling inadequate and persecuted. So I started with:
II Corinthians 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
I am the righteousness of God in Christ.
Here’s how the God’s Word Translation puts it:
II Corinthians 5:21 (GW)
God had Christ, who was sinless, take our sin so that we might receive God’s approval through him.
In Christ, I have God’s approval. I’m OK with God and God is OK with me. I am accepted and worthy in His eyes.
I read the verse out loud, because life and death are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21).
I had to tell my mind what to think and stop it from thinking the other stuff. I had to take my authority and not just sit back and let it think whatever it wanted. Because my mind is broken from the fall of Adam and it’s been lied to my whole life by the enemy.
I forget that sometimes. It’s human nature, reinforced by constant lies from the enemy, to just accept whatever our minds think because “it is what it is.”
But it’s NOT. I don’t have to think anything I don’t want to think. I don’t have to accept the lies that run through my mind – regardless of whether they’re from the enemy or from a mental illness or even if they’re from my own history.
I DO have authority over my mind. Everyone does. A person doesn’t need to be saved to take control of negative thoughts. But if they are saved, and especially if they’re filled with the Holy Spirit, then they have the infinite power of the Almighty God backing them up.
So, I started telling my mind – out loud – that it had to line up with the Word of God. My brain and hormones and everything else had to line up with the Word of God, because I was healed.
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
I Peter 2:24
“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
I quoted every scripture that came to my mind. I was angry and crying, but I was not going to let my mind and body (brain) drag me back into mental illness. Regarding the physical – I was healed and I refused to accept the lie that I wasn’t. If my brain or hormones or neurons had started going back to being sick, then they’d just have to stop and turn around.
Regarding the mental – I commanded my mind to let go of the lies. I cast down the thoughts of unfairness and insecurity that were dragging me through the mud.
II Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
And I commanded my mind to think of only good things – the truth in God’s Word about who I am in Him and all that His sacrifice on the cross provided for me.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I wasn’t just quoting scripture because it was the “Christian thing to do”. I was in a fight for my life because I knew the road I was on and I knew where it ended. But I also knew that it was a lie. It was a lie of imbalanced hormones and chemicals in my brain. It was a lie of misfiring neurons and tissue inflammation, aka mental illness.
So I had to apply the truth to my physical brain to make it line up with the Word of God in physical healing. And I had to apply the truth to my mind to strip the lies of their power.
I didn’t start feeling better right away. But I knew that I had made my decision and I was not going to move. I felt better in my core, because I had taken a stand. I had planted my feet in the truth of God’s Word and I was fully persuaded. It didn’t matter what I felt like physically or emotionally. The issue was settled.
I got myself together and went on with my day like I’ve always done. Fake it ‘til you make it. But later that evening, I could tell I was better. The aggravation was gone. The dis-ease was gone. I wasn’t being pushed around by my emotions anymore.
I took the rest of Saturday and Sunday to recuperate from the fight. I won the battle the moment I took my stand on God’s Word, but it had taken a lot of energy to do that. So I rested.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about a time when I was tired of asking for help. What gave me the strength to rise up and fight this time?
I’m a different person now than I was then. I have learned from experience that the pain of fighting is nothing compared to the pain of staying sick. It’s worth the effort.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
I’ve fought this fight before and God has proven to me that He is faithful to back up His Word. It worked before and it will work every time.
God is not human, that he should lie,
not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?
I took a break from writing last weekend because I was fighting a battle. I’m back this week hoping to encourage you with my story. Because the same God who rescued me from mental illness can rescue you. The same stripes that healed me can heal you.
We have to do the work. But He provides His supernatural power to work through us to accomplish things we could never do on our own.
How has God’s Word helped you change your thoughts?