My inner child recently had a tantrum where she was crying and screaming, “It’s not my fault!”
Things were stressful at work and I felt like I wasn’t measuring up to what was expected of me. So my inner Drama Queen started pointing fingers at everyone else in a desperate attempt to get the pressure off of me.
The man answered, “That woman, the one you gave me, gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The snake deceived me, and I ate,” the woman answered.
GW (God’s Word version)
When I removed myself from the situation and looked inside, I saw my inner child freaking out. I wondered why? Why was I SO UPSET about all this? What horrible thing triggered this extreme reaction? And why is this such a familiar reaction? Because I’ve felt like this many, many times before in my life. My life story is filled with tantrums.
So I prayed. And the Holy Spirit pointed to my history with bipolar disorder. He reminded me that when I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder, I was finally able to look back over my life and see those tantrums as symptoms of a disease. My disease was misinterpreting the world around me and making me hypersensitive to everything, and therefore more easily upset by everything.
I kept looking at the world around me, desperately trying to identify where the problem was. Was it my husband, my marriage, my job? No, it was just my disease altering my perception of life. My husband, marriage, and job weren’t perfect, but they weren’t the reason I was so upset, anxious, irritable, angry, depressed, etc.
It was my brain’s fault. (To be fair, it’s biological, psychological, and social.) But it wasn’t everyone else’s fault and I needed to stop pointing fingers and yelling at the world.
Learning about my disease allowed me to do this. Taking a prescription mood stabilizer allowed me to do this. Praying and reading God’s Word allowed me to do this. I don’t point fingers and yell at the world nearly as much as I used to.
Until recently. Work stress had found my inner child and started poking her. And she reacted in true Drama Queen fashion.
The good news is, because I have been praying and reading God’s Word and working on my attitude, I was able to see this situation for what it was – an emotional tantrum. God showed me that my inner child was acting like she still had bipolar disorder. She was falling for the paranoia and was flailing against any and all perceived attacks.
But I was healed of bipolar disorder last year. I know this. So why was I having symptoms? Was I incorrect in my belief that I’d been healed? Did I lose my healing?
The enemy is always whispering lies in our ears. And he’s always trying to steal God’s Word from us. “You’re not really healed. These symptoms are proof that you’re just as sick as you ever were.”
God’s Word tells us who the enemy is and what he’s trying to do.
You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.
I am still healed of bipolar disorder. The tantrum was just emotions that I needed to deal with, and God has given me many tools to deal with them. I have Him, His Word, Celebrate Recovery, friends and accountability partners, and self-care disciplines like rest and sleep.
So what did I do? I took the hand of my screaming, crying, Drama Queen inner child and walked her to Jesus. And I asked Him to help us both to calm down. And He did.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Let’s share “parenting tips”. How do you deal with your inner child when they’re throwing a tantrum?
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